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I love jokes about monorails.
Those are my favourite one liners.
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What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause
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I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
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Why are burglars so sensitive?
Because they take things personally.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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