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I find that computer programming is a great painkiller.
It involves a lot of codeine.
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I've decided to invest all my money in soup stocks
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When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime.
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I got home from work angry and tired, so I asked my wife if she could make turkey and duck for dinner.
I was in a fowl mood.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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