The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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I couldn't decide what Asian food I wanted more Japanese or Chinese so

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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”

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The lord giveth, and the lord taketh

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I’m reading a horror story in Braille.