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How do you get your toilet so clean?
I scrub the shit out of it.
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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A teacher says "Spit out your gum," and the train says "Choo choo choo!"
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What do you call a group of baby soldiers?
An infantry
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Wife: What are you doing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.
Husband: I was looking for the expiration date.
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I don't trust these trees
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