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My wife and I bought a water bed recently but ever since then...
...we’ve drifted apart.
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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
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Why did the guy get arrested for having sex with a piano?
Because it was A minor
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What does a vegan zombie say?
"Graaains! Graaaains!"
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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