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A girl named Ruth quit working at our office.
I've been referring to the office as 'ruthless" since then.
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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
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What do you call a dog without legs?
It doesn’t matter. It won’t come if you call it.
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An Indian woman offended me, so I cursed her to be reincarnated as a a garment worn by Hindu women.
She'll be sari!
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What is the opposite of a croissant?
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