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You guys hear about the depressed plumber?
He’s going through a lot of crap right now.
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So I texted my crush and asked her, “Are you an ancient artifact,”
“Because I want to date you.”
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Found out I’m allergic to ceiling mounted dart boards
They always make me throw up
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Laughing is the best medicine
unless you're laughing for no reason, then you may need some medicine.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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