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Why was the pancake arrested?
Because he was behaving un-waffle-ly
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A furniture store keeps calling me...
All I wanted was one night stand.
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A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can i get you?"
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Today I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.....
And I gotta say that's true because I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey
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I don't trust these trees
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