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Why was Cinderella such a bad basketball player?
Because her coach was a pumpkin.
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Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
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What do you call a group of security guards in front of the Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
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My new job at the nuclear reactor requires me to take anger management classes.
They're to prevent meltdowns.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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