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Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
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How programmers curse?
Oh shift!
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I bought a pen that can write underwater
... it can write other words as well.
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What's the difference between a baseball hitter and a skydiver?
The baseball player goes "smack!...ARGH!" A skydiver goes "ARGH!...smack!"
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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