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Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet?
Because he spends years at C!
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People told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic
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Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar every time I have pessimistic thoughts.
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My son tied his first tie today.
I looked at him and told him "Knot bad son."
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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