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Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?
Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.
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How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
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What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
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I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI ‘s head.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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