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Why do dogs float in water?
Because they are good buoys.
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You can tell the gender of any animal by just throwing a pebble at it.
If SHE attacks you then it's a female or If HE attacks you then it's a male.
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Mayan: Hey wanna drink?
Other Mayan: I'm working on this calendar, but I guess if I don't finish it won't be the end of the world.
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A midget stumbles out of the bar...
He was a little drunk.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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