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Why did the woman wear a helmet at the dinner table?
Because of her crash diet
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My 15 year old sent a text asking me to pick him up from school and added "not in your pyjamas".
So I'm wearing his, because good dads listen.
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The punchline comes before the question.
What's the worst part about time traveling jokes?
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I think i might be addicted to dough,
I don't just want it, I knead it.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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