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Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out. It had a bloated appendix.
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Why did Shakespeare’s wife walk out on him?
She was sick of all the dramas.
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Smoking will kill you...Bacon will kill you...
But, smoking bacon will cure it.
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Gold walks into a bar
The bartender says "AU get out of here!"
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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