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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the pee is silent.
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I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
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Me: Hey dad, what’s up?
Dad: My weight
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What do you say to your sister when she's crying?
"Are you having a crisis?"
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I don't trust these trees
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