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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Why are the Avengers so good with tools?
They’re always assembling
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A lumberjack walks into an enchanted forest. As he goes to chop down a tree, it calls out. "Wait, don't chop me down. I'm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack smiles. "And you will dialogue."
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I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning
I noticed when my head hit the bottom of the mattress
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Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. It has so many black belts.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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