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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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What's the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist?
The literalist takes things literally. The kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
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What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.
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I yelled at the kids through the colander today,
It strained my voice
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Prison is more than just a word.
It's a sentence.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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