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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?
Trombones.
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I just witnessed a guy getting shot with a paintball gun.
He dyed on impact.
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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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Why did the blind lady fall into the well?
Because she couldn't see that well.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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