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What happens to an egg every time you look at it?
It becomes egg sighted
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Why do hair dressers always get places faster?
Because they know all the short cuts.
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A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery.
He charged one and let the other one off.
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I have a fear of speed bumps.
I'm slowly getting over it.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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