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What does a house wear?
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Dad: Sorry, but I only know how to make two dishes: meat loaf and apple pie.
Kid: Which one is this?
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A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".
I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
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Why do most married men die before their wives?
Because they want to.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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