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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
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I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
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Men are not allowed to find things funny
Because, manslaughter is a crime
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The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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