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What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race?
Ketchup
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Why shouldn't you stay close to a speaker all the time?
Because it hertz your ears!
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Have you heard there was a kidnapping at the school?
Everybody laughed when we woke up again.
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My new job at the nuclear reactor requires me to take anger management classes.
They're to prevent meltdowns.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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