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What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission chips.
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What do you call two crows flying together
An attempted murder
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Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?
Crew: I I Captain.
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What do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
A widow.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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