The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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What did the flower say to the bicycle?

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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

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I opened a gym geared towards lazy pessimists.

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I have a fear of speed bumps.