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Waiter: “How’s your chicken?”
Dad: “Not good. I think it might be dead.”
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Instead of 'Happy New Year' I said 'good year' to my wife.
I must be tired.
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What do you call when you have your grandmother on speed dial?
Insta gram
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How does Santa Clause prevent himself from getting coronavirus?
By santatising
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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