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The secret service isn’t allowed to say “get down!” Anymore
Now they have to say, “Donald, duck!”
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I couldn't decide whether my girlfriend was pretty, or ugly.
So I told her that she was pretty ugly.
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"I can see for miles,"
said Miles' guide dog.
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The workweek is so rough that after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says
WTF
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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