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The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally gave her a glue.
She's still not talking to me.
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I got fired from my lawn maintenance job.
I just wasn’t cutting it.
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What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down?
A kiwi in an elevator.
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What do Mexicans eat when it's cold out?
Brrrritos
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I don't trust these trees
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