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Teenager's dad: Have her back by 8:15.
Daughter's boyfriend: The middle of august? Great!
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Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?
Yup! It runs in your jeans!
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What is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold
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Why are ghosts terrible liars?
Because you can see right through them.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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