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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Soccer striker: I had an open goal but still I didn't score. I could kick myself.
Manager: I wouldn't bother. You'd probably miss.
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How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
Add spring water.
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Why is no one friends with Dracula?
Because he's a pain in the neck.
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What do you call a group of security guards in front of the Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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