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Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you.
But smoking bacon will cure it.
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Major: “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning, Sergeant!”
Sergeant: “Thank you, Sir!!”
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Why don't blind people go skydiving?
Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.
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How can you identify a proctologist?
He's the doctor wearing a watch above his elbow.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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