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Officer "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia."
Me ,"No, wait. I can explain everything!"
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Genie: What's your first wish master? John: I wish I was rich.
Genie: Done! What's your second wish Rich?
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My dad banned me from saying "Hell", so I asked: "Have you thought of any alternative names for hell?"
He said: "I heaven't"
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How does the Moon cut his hair when the Sun gets in the way?
Eclipse it.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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