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My wife told me, "You're a better husband than I'll ever be."
I responded, "Who the hell is Oliver B.??"
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Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
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Doctor: Sorry for the wait
Patient: It's ok I'm patient.
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Step 2: Brag that you walk 5 miles every day
"Yell for help!" wasn't one of them.
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I don't trust these trees
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