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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it.
We went out for drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web designer.
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My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?"
Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
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Why did the can-crusher quit his job?
Because it was soda-pressing.
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My son kept chewing on electrical cords so I had to ground him.
He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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