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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
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What do cigarettes and squirrels have in common?
They're both perfectly safe until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
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How does am armless man play poker?
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Why was the piano on the porch?
Because it forgot its keys.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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