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My wife said she prefers brown rice
That’s just riceist
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My grandpa grew up during the depression, as a result, he never threw anything away.
He died in the war, holding a hand grenade.
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
They're, there, their.
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Guy at the door: Sir, would you like to make a donation to the local orphanage?
Dad: No problem. (To me) Hey, you live with this guy from now on.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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