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My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
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What has four wheels and flies?
A Garbage Truck.
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My neighbor told me he only sleeps standing up.
But everyone knows he lies a lot.
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What's the difference between a baseball hitter and a skydiver?
The baseball player goes "smack!...ARGH!" A skydiver goes "ARGH!...smack!"
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I don't trust these trees
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