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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
1
My wife complains I don’t buy her flowers.
In all honesty, I didn’t know she sold flowers.
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My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...
That way I'd be 'head & shoulders' above the competition.
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My 8 year old daughter got me with "I can breathe under water"
She filled a cup of water placed it on her head and began to violently and rapidly breathe in and out. The force is strong with her.
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Dad, did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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