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My girlfriend asked if we could have an old movie night and watch “Gaslight”
I told her “we already watched that together, don’t you remember?”
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How did the farmer mend the holes in his jeans?
With cabbage patches.
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I went to the boomerang store the other day
They have a great return policy
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Interviewer: We're looking for someone who is responsible. Do you fit that criteria?
Candidate: Well, in my last job when the store caught fire, my boss said that I was responsible.
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I don't trust these trees
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