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My friend told me, “Your wife and daughter look like twins!”
I said, “Well, they were separated at birth.”
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What do you call karate for amputees?
Partial arts
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What does food surf on?
Micro waves
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Out boss just banned overly specific nicknames
The whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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