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My dad always said, “ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
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My dad threw a cheese shredder at me and he missed
I ran away and he yelled at me: “get back here you ungrateful child”
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My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while taking a shower.
He has serious selfie steam issues.
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Why haven’t aliens visited us yet?
They saw the rating- only one star.
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I don't trust these trees
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