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Me: wanna hear a joke about $1,000 Her: sure
Me: K
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Why are burglars so sensitive?
Because they take things personally.
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My girlfriend likes to take the stairs but I prefer taking the elevator
I guess we were raised defferently.
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Remember when plastic surgery was taboo?
Now if you mention Botox, no one even raises an eyebrow.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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