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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Me: Cortana, I definitely don't use any other virtual assistant.
Cortana: Are you Siri-ous?
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I burned 2,000 calories yesterday.
Left the brownies in the oven too long.
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My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?"
Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
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"Dad, will the pizza be long?"
"No, it will probably be round."
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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