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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Me: Cortana, I definitely don't use any other virtual assistant.
Cortana: Are you Siri-ous?
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Therapist: Your wife has complained you never buy her flowers, what do you have to say to that?
Well, in my defense, I never knew she sold flowers.
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People say circumcision doesn’t hurt, but i have to disagree.
I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn’t walk for nearly a year. So check your facts.
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Doing a good job at work is like wetting your pants in a dark suit.
You get a warm feeling, but no one else notices.
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I don't trust these trees
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