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Marriage is like a card game.
At first, you have two Hearts and a Diamond, but at the end, you'll want a Club and a Spade.
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Reporter: How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?
Company owner: It's simple. I have 100 employees, and 99 free parking spaces outside. The other one costs $50 a day.
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What has four legs and says "boo"?
A cow with a cold.
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My jackass husband just hit me with this one. Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive?
You stop pretending.
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I don't trust these trees
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