The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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I gave a PS5 to my girlfriend..

Previous Dates

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My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support Trump.

0

When an Amazon employee takes maternity leave

2

There are three signs of old age. The first is memory loss.

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I like my women the way I like my coffee.

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Why do bees have sticky hair?

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What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down?

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Knock-knock! Who's there? Kumquat. Kumquat who?

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If a chinese man has to pay, what's his name?

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Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his cake?

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They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian.

6

I figured out why Teslas are so expensive.

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I hate people who don't use punctiation.

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Did you hear about the 2 guys that stole a calendar?

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Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker?

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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.

6

Dad: what do you do when you are in the wrong seat?

-1

You know you're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling...

1

Want to know why nurses like red crayons?

1

Why are elevator jokes so good?

0

At the end of the day...

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What's more amazing than a talking dog?

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I just bought a new house. It has no plumbing.

2

Why did Spiderman quit his day job?

0

Why did the Mexican take some Xanax?

5

What does a zombie vegetarian eat?

0

Is infinity odd or even?

1

Why did the octopus blush?

0

Studies show that 4 out of 5 men suffer from diarrhea at some point in their life.

0

Remember when air was free at the gas station, now it’s $1.50. You know why?

6

A man woke up after a serious accident and he said “I can’t feel my legs!!”

0

Never, ever invest in Velcro....