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In an emergency, what's better than an EMT?
A pair-a-medics!
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Why don’t you hear psychiatrists when they go to the bathroom?
The p is silent.
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Smoking will kill you...Bacon will kill you...
But, smoking bacon will cure it.
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My friends claim I’m the cheapest person they have ever met.
I’m not buying it.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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