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If you have 10 apples in one hand and 14 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Really, really big hands.
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The weirdest summer job I have ever had was cleaning the monkey cages at our local zoo.
That shit was bananas.
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A doctor gave a man 6 months to live
The man couldn't pay his bill so the doctor gave him another 6 months
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
copilot: they keep your shirt closed
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
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