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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I'd like to start dieting...
...but I just have too much on my plate right now.
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Why did the farmer win an award?
Because he was out standing in his field.
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I had been out drinking on St. Patrick's Day, so I took a bus home.
That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
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Instead of 'Happy New Year' I said 'good year' to my wife.
I must be tired.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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