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I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
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My Dad told me to invest in the airplane market soon.
It's about to take off.
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Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells?
Because B-shells are too small, and D-shells are too big.
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Want to hear a pizza joke?
Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.
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I don't trust these trees
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