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I was fired from a bank.
When a woman asked me to check her balance, I pushed her over.
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Have you heard there was a kidnapping at the school?
Everybody laughed when we woke up again.
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Why do teenage girls walk in groups of 3, 5, and 7?
Because they literally can’t even.
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
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I don't trust these trees
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