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I was fired from a bank.
When a woman asked me to check her balance, I pushed her over.
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An astronaut was being sucked into a black hole. He frantically tried to escape...
...but nothing worked. It was una-void-able.
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I don't trust these trees
They seem kind of shady
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I was asked at an interview what my weakness is. I replied "I'm too honest". The interviewer said "I don't consider honesty a weakness".
I said "I don't give a fuck what you think"
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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